Yesterday passed and I did all of the normal things - breakfast, dishes, a little work, hanging with the kids, etc.... except all day I kept thinking about September 11, 2001. But, I never said anything to anyone not knowing how to talk about what I remembered and what an emotional day it was. I didn't even talk to Cayden about the day and why it was special. How do you talk to a 7 year old about what happened? So, today I was thinking that maybe I should write down what I can remember about what I was doing that day. When I hear stories of what others experienced that day sometimes it still moves me to tears. I was lucky to be so far away and safe in a physical sense. Many others were THERE and had family THERE.
Jeff's parents were staying with us for a couple of weeks while they were waiting to move into their new home in Greeley, Colorado. When I came downstairs that morning Bob was putting his tie on and watching the news and as I came into the living room is when the footage of the plane flying into the Twin Towers was first aired. It was surreal because no one knew what was happening. I honestly don't remember if Jeff and Barb were still in the house that morning or not. After staring at the t.v. for several minutes I left the house and turned on my normal radio station and heard.... silence. I usually listened to the station that had a pretty entertaining morning show and hearing nothing and then talking and confusion and that was erie. I had a 15 minute drive to work and the whole time I remember hearing, "we don't know why the plane hit the building". I think it wasn't for a little while that they realized, or were sharing, that it was a hijacked plane that purposely hit the Twin Towers. I was teaching in Ault, Colorado at the time and when I came into school the athletic director had pulled a tv into the common area and again there was silence. That is something for a high school. As the morning crept on we all kept the news channel on in our room and unfortunately that meant that most of our students that day saw the towers falling right as it happened. There was shock and tears. Students had more questions than I knew how to answer. By afternoon, we were all on overload and kept the t.v.'s off. That night Jeff and I had Grandma Rene and Anne over for dinner. I called my family and the thing I remember most is just wanting to know people were okay and to tell them you loved them. What else could you say? But having family near was important and having family know that you loved them was important. The world didn't get back to "normal" for awhile. I don't think it still is...
On the next day of school I had my students write their thoughts and reactions to what they saw and felt and I do wonder if they still have those. I know that mine is out there in the garage with my old books. Last time I read it I was suprised at the emotion, about how much responsibility I felt to my students who were floundering for understanding while at the same time trying to grasp how serious it was. New York is a long way from Colorado.
It will be a day that shapes me forever. I hope that I never, never, ever have to watch something like that again and I hope that my children don't experience that sadness and shock either. I guess I don't talk about it because I don't know that there are words to express how I feel.
I will always remember.
